Self Portrait

Despite an optimistic post and new resolve to begin blogging more often...nothing much has happened blog-wise in over a month since promising to post more regularly.
Nothing at all, actually.

So naturally I turned to Pinterest for help. After a search for "blog challenge" and a quick glance through the results, I decided on one 30-day blogging challenge I like well enough. I'm not sure what the original source is, but I found it posted on Writer's Hub.

And now, without further ado - the beginning of my 30-day blogging challenge.

DAY ONE // a photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

This is definitely not a picture from today - but the prompt never said it had to be. This is a picture from a happier time of year, when the temperature wasn't in the triple-digits every day.

And now for a brief description of my day.

Thank goodness for afternoon church. I'm still adjusting to my new ward, but today was the first Sunday that I didn't feel totally awkward and out of place. We had an ice cream-themed "Linger Longer" after church, featuring all varieties of ice cream and popsicles, and I actually met several new people - and even carried on conversations with them. 

I also found out that being assigned to be the assistant organist doesn't just mean that they want me to play when the regular organist is out of town - it means they want me to regularly trade off playing organ with him. This gave me a mild heart attack, considering that I haven't actually played organ in over a year.

But hey - if I can manage to begin to make new friends, maybe I can pull off playing organ, too.

Once Upon a Time, I Made New Year's Goals.

And then I promptly forgot about them. As in, if you asked me right this very second what they are, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I'm going to go look them up so I can re-post them right now. And make a list of them to put on my wall.

...........

So it turns out these were my goals:

Now would be a good time to start working on them...

Better late than never!

The Morning I Didn't Make a Mess Getting Dressed

scarf: h&m, thrifted // cardi: ross  //  dress: thrifted //
belt: thrifted // tights: hand-me-down // shoes: twentyone, thrifted

Generally, I leave for church in the morning having emptied most of my closet onto my floor - but not today. This is the one and only outfit I tried on.
Which is definitely a miracle that may never happen again.

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Sometimes...I need to remember how much I have to be happy about.

Not today, per se - today's a happy day - but just in general.

Instead of how annoying this bipolar weather is {fuh-reeeezing in the morning, sweating by the afternoon} - how awesome it is that I can still wear all my favorite winter pieces, just in layers.

Instead of how strongly I dislike going to school {have I complained about that lately? I haaaaaate my classes...} - how blessed I am to have the opportunity to be educated, and the gift of being able to learn relatively quickly and retain that knowledge.

Instead of being annoyed by a certain person - being glad that apparently somehow I'm a good example to them? And then trying to be better.

Instead of wanting more - being grateful for enough.

Instead of dwelling on mistakes - accepting the Atonement and moving on.

Sunday Style at Plane Pretty

Style Showcase at MoMoMod

Watch What I'm Wearing at Watch Out for the Woestmans
My Style Monday at My Greatest Hits

Because Sometimes, I Think I'm Kinda Classy

earrings: avon (thrifted)//blazer: vintage (thrifted)//dress: vintage (thrifted)
belt: target//shoes: target (thrifted)

Looking classy and being classy are two TOTALLY different things, though. So a more accurate title would be "Because Sometimes, I Think I Look Kinda Classy". 

Being classy...that's taking an insult in stride.

smiling just because I can.

being grateful.

lifting someone up.

letting something go.

having a good attitude.

making sacrifices.

accepting sacrifices.

respecting others.

respecting yourself.

looking outward.

looking inward.

balance.

And so this week - I'll be classy.

P.S. By the way, I think this is the new format my Happiness Project is going to take - goals I make weekly based on my current needs/impressions. I'm thinking this will be easier to keep up and stay motivated with. Here goes nothing!

MoMoMod Style Showcase

Being Taught and Learning

So who out there has forgotten about my Happiness Project?

Yeah, me too.

Whoops.

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But life's been teaching me a lot - about who I am, who I'm becoming, my relationships...and I haven't been enjoying all of it. But sometimes enjoying it isn't really the point. The times when I was just focused on how much I didn't like the situation I was in, I should have been opening myself to learn from the lessons I was being blessed with.
That's how  we progress in life - by letting go of our pride and our own ideas of how things should be. I'll get to that point eventually... Thankfully, Heavenly Father has proven that He loves me unconditionally and is willing to reteach me lessons as often as I need them, until I allow myself to really learn them, and he's given me tons of wonderful people in my life to help me get to that point.

I really need to learn to stop letting me get in the way of becoming who I'm meant to be.

P.S. The Happiness Project will be getting a bit of a makeover, to better fit with what I've been learning about myself...it turns out that the plan I made for myself a year ago doesn't quite fit who I am right now. But it'll be back soon!

GOALS {because resolutions are made to be broken}

In 2012, I deliberately did not make any goals or resolutions at the 

beginning of the new year. It was nice to take a break...sometimes, the unrealistic goals 

we have a tendency to make can become a heavy load to carry. 

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I'm ready for goals this year, though. So with out further ado - 

In 2013, I will...

+ learn how to type - like, the right way. As in, not looking at the keyboard. 

I'm going to start from scratch, and I've got a few websites I can use to help. This is going to be tough...because I hate typing. But it's a necessary skill and I figure it'll end up 

saving me time, so it'll be worth it!

+ bear my testimony in Church 3 times - this terrifies me. I'm not sure why, but it does. I get up in front of everybody and I freeze and when I'm done I can't even remember anything I said. But this'll be good for me! I need to get more comfortable with it.

+ spend 30 minutes a week with Preach My Gospel - I've got a mission to prepare for, after all! But it'll help in my everyday life, too.

+ work my butt off to get a 25 minute race time next season - I can do it. But that means I can't just stop working out when I'm not doing races...I've kinda gotta start now. Working out is fun!

+ STUDY the Book of Mormon twice, cover to cover - hopefully using up the rest of my old scripture journal and moving into my fancy new one.

+ put more effort into creating friendships through my blog - part 1 of this goal is going to be commenting on at least 2 posts a day. Once I've got that down, I'll proceed from there.

+ find a way to make time for me on a regular basis - I've discovered it's rather important to have a life outside of school...something I've been lacking. As I manage my time more effectively, I'll have more time to relax - to have fun - to sharpen the saw.

+ pay attention to the little things - I need to learn to let things be and stop worrying constantly. It'd be much more worth my while to stop and think about how many things I have to be grateful for - or to look outside myself and see what little thing I might be able to do for someone else.

+ do a bit or reorganizing/redecorating/getting rid of a ton of stuff - self explanatory.

+ get the new blog design in place - I figured I might as well stick something easy to check off in there.


This year's mantra is

And the word is

This is going to be an amazing year.
Just you wait and see.

{This is How November Went}

It didn't.

Not Happiness Project-Wise, anyway.

But really, that depends on how you look at it.

A little before half-way though November, I dropped all of my November Attitude goals. I still tried to keep up with the daily prayer and scripture study, but I let all the others go for a new, broader goal:

I needed to stop being so hard on myself.

It's really become an issue.
Well, it's been an issue for forever, but it's never affected me to this degree before. I've been in a funk for the past who-knows-how-long, and self-criticism really isn't helping.

I go to Church every Sunday...and the lessons make me miserable. The teachers ask for examples, and people give them, and all I'm thinking is "I'm not like that. That's how I'm supposed to be." They read the quotes for the lesson, and all I'm thinking is how far I feel from whatever the right thing to be is. I used to participate in class - I was the one giving examples. But I haven't been saying much lately. I have nothing to say.

I do school work, and I don't understand it, and I think of when everything was easy for me. When I didn't have to put much effort into anything to get it right.

I'm comparing myself to others, but not nearly as much as I'm comparing myself to a better me.

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I've kinda let this take over, and everything else just...falls out of place.
I'm casual about my work ethic. School work is HARD, so I work slowly, trying to get it, and give up easily, resulting in all-night-ers to get everything done on time. I'm always exhausted.
I'm casual about serving others, or even really thinking of them at all. I'm focused on ME-pitiful little ol' me.
I'm casual about my prayers. Truly sincere prayers where I feel that closeness with my Father have been few and far between.
I'm casual about my scripture study. I can't remember the last time I sat down and had a legit study session, where I felt the Spirit while I was reading.

Obviously those last two are the root of my problem.
Ever since this funk started, I've been putting extra effort into looking nice every day. My reasoning is that since I feel so awful, it'll only make it worse if I look awful, too. If I look cute, I'll just feel the normal level of awful. If I had taken that time to instead put extra effort into praying and reading my scriptures, how much better off would I have been?

Everybody can tell, too. I hate pity. But I get it anyway, because I have a face incapable of hiding emotion. When I'm miserable, everyone knows. I can smile and say that I'm fine...but this face of mine. Frustrating.

And the worst part is, I've had to hit this low before finally addressing the problem and making a conscious effort to fit it.

Thus, my December goals:
Study like a boss. I'm pulling out the old scripture journal. It's getting written in EVERY. DAY. Dusting off my patriarchal blessing. Spending 30 minutes every Sunday with Preach My Gospel. Getting some Personal Progress done. Finishing the Book of Mormon by the new year.
Pray like Enos. If you don't know the story, simple version here. My prayers are important, and I need to treat them so. I need to dedicate entire prayers to simply giving thanks, frequently.

I've got this.

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Lord, help me overcome myself.

Week Something-or-Other

I've been wasting time like nobody's business this week, and now I get to suffer the consequences of that. At least it's a three-day weekend!

You know what the hardest goal was? Refraining from criticizing and giving random compliments. 

It turns out I can be ridiculously critical, and even when I'm not being critical, I'm not one for giving out compliments. I've totally been on top of using my gratitude journal, though, and until yesterday (when I started having to suffer the consequences of my time-wasting) I was doing pretty well being positive and energetic, too. 

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In other news, I've started listening to Christmas music! My alarm clock radio is set to it, and this morning I woke up to "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch". It's officially my favorite time of year! 

Also, as rainy days become more frequent, I may be joining the ranks of you top-knot sporting bloggers ... a top-knot is much better than the alternative of matted, stuck-to-my-head hair!

P.S. I'm grateful for

+ caring Church leaders

+ warm fuzzy socks

+ Church Youth musicals

NOVEMBER: {attitude}

These were my goals for last month...do we really need to talk about how miserable I was at keeping them? And how many times I was ready to quit my year of happiness less than a month into it? Yeah, I was kind of pathetic. But that's the point of this year - improvement! And I wouldn't need to improve if I wasn't pathetic at some point...

This month has been a bit of an eye-opener. For the first time in my life, I've been able to recognize myself going through the pride cycle. 

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I should have gone and stopped it as soon as I realized I was in it...but...yeah. Bad month on my part. It was interesting, though! I don't usually see myself that clearly {which may be a good thing...}. 

I've definitely been letting school get in the way of my relationship with God. I rationalize that putting off reading my scriptures and working on the Personal Progress goals I had for last month {none of which got done, by the way} gives me more time to get my work done, but really, without doing those things, I'm not able to be as productive anyway. It's a lose-lose situation. I've been extremely self-centered, too - I'm tired and cranky so I couldn't care less about how I can help anyone else. 

This was a good start to my happiness project. No, I'm actually not being sarcastic. Being able to see more of my weak points has humbled me a bit, and I think it's prepared me more for a full year of self-improvement.

Now, for this month's goals! November's theme is attitude.

 What's going to be hard this month? Um...everything. Well, the new goals, anyway. No, I was right before, everything. Be positive - this will be a hard habit to acquire. I can usually at least fake positivity, but not so much this last month. No complaining - I do an awful lot of that. Does it help anyone? No. It just makes things worse. Refrain from criticizing - last month, I discovered something about myself. It was quite the epiphany. When I know I'm not living my life quite how I should be, I get really annoyed with myself {eventually I get motivated to change, but for a while I'm just annoyed and unpleasant}. I already knew that, but last month I discovered that I cope with that by letting every little thing that everyone else does bug me. It's like, if I can focus on what they're doing wrong, I don't have to think about what I'm doing wrong. Except for the fact that as I'm doing it, I know it's wrong, and it only makes me more frustrated with myself...which gets me more frustrated with everyone else...and so on. Refraining from criticizing first myself and then others will give me an infinitely better attitude. Gratitude journal - I have one that I keep on the shelf by my scriptures, but I haven't used it in forever. I'll be using it again, daily, and I'll close every blog post with a few things I'm grateful for {how fitting...this month is Thanksgiving, isn't it? I haven't quite processed the fact that it's November yet}.

I'm hoping I pull off this month better than the last - and have some fun while I'm at it! What are you all looking forward to about this month?

Because I Looked Amazing....Part 1 of My Thrifting Haul

dress: vintage, thrifted
belt: vintage, thrifted
shoes: target, thrifted

I was thrifting with my mom yesterday, and while I was looking at sweaters, she came over with this dress and said "It's so 70's! You have to try it on!" So I did, just as a joke...but then I loved it. It fits me perfectly, and it is actually really cute! The tie around the neck is my favorite. And I love the belt we found to go with it - the asymmetrical buckle is pretty awesome.
While we were in line buying everything {yes, there is much more to share!}, a lady saw the dress and she was like, "I'm not going to lie...I am so jealous right now!" And you know what's really cool about the dress? It was made locally! The label has the name of this old dress shop in town from the 70's. You know what else is really cool? The gold on the dress is, like, the exact same shade as my hair.

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And now, shifting gears to progress on the happiest year of my life:

This past week has been really great {despite the fact that my sidekick has been MIA}! I'm not sure if the greatness of the week has made it easy to keep my goals, or if keeping my goals has made the week great...either way, I did much better than last week!
My most impressive accomplishment has been  monitoring my computer time. There's still a lot of room for improvement, but there were actually multiple times when I sat down at the computer and did homework without opening my email or blogger. Craaazy!


a year of happiness
the october goals
{week 1 went undocumented}
week 2

Hope everybody had an amazing Sunday!

Another Week of Happiness

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Guys, I think I'm just a little bit pathetic. 

I only just finished Week 2 of the happiest year of my life, and every single day this week, at least once, I've wanted to cancel it so that I can just go off and mope. Fortunately, I didn't cancel it, so I don't have to feel quite so lame, but this was definitely not my finest week. 

Let's go over the goals one by one, shall we?

+ kneel for prayers, morning and night - This is the one goal I was pretty good about...besides those couple of nights that I wimped out and half-said my prayers while laying down in bed.

+ daily yoga stretching - I'm officially modifying this goal. Stretching has almost the same invigorating effect as yoga. It's really not realistic for me to get yoga in every day. That having been said, I didn't actually stretch daily, either. At all. Soooo...I'll work on that next week.

+ New Testament reading in the morning - I did do the reading every day, but it didn't always happen in the morning. 

+ Book of Mormon reading before starting my homework - This just didn't happen at all some days. Whenever I didn't do the New Testament reading in the morning, it got pushed to before doing my homework. Fail.

+ 15 minutes of piano practice daily - This was an absolute joke. But just so I don't feel like a complete failure on this, I'm going to count the organ practice I did on Wednesday as piano practice. And since that was for an hour, and an hour fits 4 15-minute practice sessions, it's like I practiced piano four times!

As nice as that reasoning was...it doesn't really count. So I'll do better this week. Hopefully.

+ monitor computer time - I was...okay with that. Just okay.

+ tidy up before bed every night - Just okay with this, too. That's how you know this was an off week - I'm usually totally OCD about the cleanliness of my room. 

+ run - Another joke.

+ ACT energetic - Aaaaand...yet another joke. I've been getting way too few hours of sleep to even fake it. 

That was yucky. But, to be fair, I didn't really put an insane amount of effort into this week. Or really any effort at all. 

Hopefully this coming week is, like, a gajillion times better!

Here's to an awesome week to come-

Fall Bucket List

Inspired by a gajillion other lists out there - here's a list of things I want to enjoy this fall:

I'm going to be making the most of this season I love so much!

What are you looking forward to this fall?

OCTOBER: {vitality}

Here are my goals for OCTOBER! The theme is vitality.

So far, I'm doing well with most of the goals, and okay-ish with the others. The hardest ones are acting energetic and monitoring my computer time. I'm always really tired, so acting energetic is quite a challenge. I did fine earlier on in the week, but it went downhill from there, as I got less and less sleep. And monitoring my computer time....um, yeah. Exhibit A: Last night I found "Pretty Darn Funny" and I just had to watch every episode. Yes, I did have other things that I needed to be doing.

I'm loving the challenge, though! 

It's only going to get better every week!

P.S. I submitted a form for Shane's Operation Beautiful a while ago, and it's up this week! If you haven't put in a form, I highly recommend it! You can see mine here.

It's Here!

Here's my big news...but I need some background first.

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So by raise of hands, who has read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin?

Good, good...if you haven't, you really should. 

That was the first bit of background. The second is that it's my birthday month.

I read The Happiness Project back in July, and I immediately thought that I could use something like that. It's not that I'm unhappy, but couldn't we all be happier? I was crazy-excited to start - my only problem was, I didn't know when to start. Then I thought about how October wasn't too far away...
So I'm giving myself the best birthday present ever:
the happiest year of my life.

I've turned my happiness project into something that is going to help me make the most of myself, and make me the best me possible. It's going to be hard - I've planned the monthly goals around my weakest points. But that's the only way I'm going to improve, right? Every impossible moment is going to be worth it! I'm also aligning my monthly themes/goals with different Personal Progress experiences...it never hurts to do them again, and I don't think you're ever too old! I'll probably be posting about it pretty regularly during this coming year - it'll help keep me accountable.


I started off the year with a pretty easy theme. October is all about Vitality. I'll post more specifics later this week, but I've got to finish my school work for now - one of the goals has to do with time-management and monitoring my computer time...yikes!

Je N'aime Pas ....

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I took Latin my Freshman and Sophomore years of high school. That was the extent of my experience in foreign languages (besides dabbling in Gaelic), and I thought it was easy. Besides all of the ridiculous conjugations and declensions there were to memorize, it really wasn't that bad. I got this impression that I was really good at languages, and that I loved learning them. 

Now I'm taking French. 

Oh, dearie me. 

I'd really like to blame how hard this is for me on my professor. 

I'd like to say that I can't pronounce anything because he's got a Russian accent...but really, he speaks French pretty flawlessly.

I'd like to say that he's not preparing us to speak French, or to pass the tests...but honestly, I should be reading the text book more.

I'd like to blame it on the fact that the class meets at 7:45 am...but that's not actually that early. I've taken earlier classes and been just fine.

I'd like to blame it on the fact that none of the times for the University tutors are convenient for me...but they're not that inconvenient. I could make it if I tried hard enough.

Bottom line is, I need to step it up a bit. Right now is probably not the best time for me to be deciding this, considering the fact that the test is only a day away, but better late than never, right?

A tout a l'heure!

#YOLOMONDAYS

Bursting

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I am so excited for fall, guys! Have you seen my fall Pinterest board? Yesterday was the first official day, and even though we won't actually be getting fall-like weather for at least another month, it's a start. And I think we've been out of the triple digits for an entire week! I'm working on a Autumn Bucket List, which should be - there's so much I want to do this year.

Oh- I have a quote!

That's my goal for this week - to work on controlling my thoughts, to get more joy out of life!

Here's to an amazing week!

You Know Those Super-Crazy Life-Changing Moments?

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Those moments where you know you are totally okay with Heavenly Father taking you and turning you into whatever person He always intended you to be, no matter how far out of your comfort zone it is and how hard you have to work to get there?

Those moments when you forgive everyone who you've been holding things against because you realize how little any of it matters in the eternal scheme of things?

Those moments when you're willing to do anything it takes to have the light of Christ with you so strong that it pretty much lights up whatever room you're in?

Those moments when you love the entire world and everything and everyone in it?

I wish those could last forever. I had one of those last Sunday, and is was warm and fuzzy and soft and sweet and I wanted to cry and sing and never be the same!

The feeling only lasted a few days, but I've been able to make changes in myself since then, and I've gone out of my comfort zone for the better so many times this week! This is just another example of what I'm constantly being reminded of lately - the power of me. If I make a choice and have Heavenly Father backing me up on it, I can really accomplish anything.

This Autumn is definitely going to be a season of many changes, and I can't wait!

Have a fabulous weekend!